How a sip of self-care can alleviate holiday stress

With the holiday season well underway, many people are already feeling overwhelmed by a never-ending to-do list of errands, social obligations, end-of-year deadlines, family gatherings, and sky-high expectations.

“This time of year, most people are overworking, over-doing and overstressing, whether we’re talking about their professional, social, family or personal life,” explains Debbie Stamm, a nurse practitioner at the Center for Health and Integrative Medicine at Advocate Health Care. “It’s important to have some strategies in place to ground yourself in the moment, recognize the physical signs that you’re pushing yourself too hard, and find compassion, both for yourself and others.”

The first step is being aware of your feelings and acknowledging when things get hard.

“Many of us are like ducks on a pond,” Stamm explains. “It may seem serene on the surface, but underneath the water, we’re paddling frantically to stay afloat. Know that if you’re feeling this way, you’re not alone.”

For the over-workers

“Establish an end to your workday and stick to it,” she says. “When your day ends, take a walk outside to clearly mark the beginning of your personal time. Setting clear boundaries is critical, especially with year-end deadlines looming.”

For many, checking email has become a constant habit. Stamm suggests that you check-in more purposefully, especially if you’re taking time off. Set expectations with your boss on how often you’ll be checking email and do so only if you must.

“Be mindful of how screen time makes you feel,” Stamm cautions. “If you’re scrolling through your phone, set a timer for twenty minutes and check-in. If you feel more pressure or social media makes you feel less than, consider limiting the time you devote to your phone.

For the over-doers

“The holidays bring the added stressors of needing to be everywhere, with everyone, to shop, to meal plan and prepare, to travel, and so on,” Stamm says. “It can seem like you don’t have another choice until your body starts to let you know.”

That warning sign might come in the form of a headache, insomnia or fatigue, it can even show up as chronic pain in the shoulders and neck. These are all signs that you should take a step back and assess your stress levels. Try deep breathing or meditation to calm your mind.

“Deep belly breaths are a signal to our body to relax, and you can do them anywhere,” Stamm explains. “Breathe in through your mouth for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven, and breathe out over a count of eight.”

While this technique takes practice, Stamm says the important thing is that you breathe out for twice as long as you breathe in to support relaxation.

“You can also try a mediation exercise,” Stamm continues. “Or use the sights, smells, sounds, tastes and textures of the season to ground yourself in the present moment. Focus on your senses: feel the cold breeze or snow on your cheeks, smell the peppermint, taste the hot tea or cocoa, see the lights and decorations, and listen to a familiar holiday song.”

Connecting with others can bring joy, but it can also come with additional stressors.

“Recognize the things or people you cannot change,” Stamm encourages. “Instead of judgement or distress, focus on bringing compassion to relationships that may be more challenging.”

For the over-stressed

“To effectively manage stress, you need to think more holistically,” Stamm explains. “Consider the foods you’re using to fuel your body. Are you drinking enough water? Are you able to move during the day? Are you getting enough sleep?”

While foundational, making sure you’re taking care of these needs alleviates stress on your body and fuels you to accomplish your to-do’s.

Additional relief comes when you connect to something greater than yourself – whether through a faith tradition or spending time in nature.

Stamm also encourages people of all ages to take advantage of opportunities to play. “Whether it’s sledding or a board game, play brings joy, relieves stress and helps you connect to others,” Stamm says.

Finally, if you’re thinking that we have just added self-care to your already long to-do list, there are ways to fit it in. Stamm suggests taking “sips of self-care” throughout the day, rather than trying to set aside a longer chunk of time.

“Often, when we say ‘self-care,’ people assume we’re asking them to make a big time commitment,” Stamm concludes. “Use small moments and actions to refill your cup a few times each day. Especially during this busy season, this can help make taking care of yourself more realistic.”

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