Here’s how to talk to your teen about alcohol
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For many parents, navigating conversations with their child around alcohol can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have to be. One of the most important things is starting the conversation early.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents and guardians consider beginning the conversation with their child about alcohol at age 9. This is because between 9-13 years of age, children start to think positively about alcohol without being aware of the possible negative consequences surrounding its use and abuse.
Delaying or avoiding the topic may give your child the impression that alcohol use has no consequences. They will then look to their peers for answers.
When talking with your child, remain open and approachable. Allow them to ask questions and keep the discussion age appropriate. A conversation with a 9-year-old will look different than one with a 16-year-old.
Focus on the facts and don’t lecture. Address the reality and risks of drinking, consequences of drinking at home, at school and with the law. Make sure they are aware of the dangers of drinking and driving, including property damage, limitations on future plans and even loss of life.
Talk about peer pressure and the ways in which children can feel forced to make choices they aren’t comfortable with and provide suggestions for navigating those situations. This shouldn’t be a one-time discussion. Keep the lines of communication open, and make sure your child knows they can come to you with anything.
Set clear expectations. If you find out your teen was drinking, keep the consequences appropriate and reasonable (grounding them for a short time and telling them not to drink until they reach 21 years old). Consider sharing personal stories about alcohol from when you were a teen or consequences friends or peers faced after drinking.
As always, remember to be a role model for your child and lead by example. Avoid saying things like, “I need a glass of wine to relax” or overindulging in front of your kids. This is an example of a double standard and can send mixed messages to your child. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s pediatrician for further advice.
Dr. Cathy Joyce is a pediatrician and the director of the division of adolescent medicine at Advocate Children’s Hospital.
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About the Author
Dr. Cathy Joyce is a pediatrician and the director for the division of Adolescent Medicine & Pediatrics at Advocate Children's Hospital.