Have you heard of after-school restraint collapse?

If your child is on their best behavior while at school but unleashes some serious attitude at home, it may be after-school restraint collapse.

The phenomenon, which typically occurs in children under 12 years of age, is characterized by an emotional regression that can include whining and/or crying, being clingy, acting moody and throwing tantrums after coming home from school or daycare.

“After-school restraint collapse happens because children are expending a lot of physical, mental and emotional energy to be ‘well behaved’ and interact with their peers while they are at school,” explains Dr. Karen Chorvat, a pediatrician at Advocate Children’s Hospital. “When they get back home, they are overwhelmed and know they are in a safe space to release any pent-up emotions.”

Dr. Chorvat says in some cases, like when a child begins full-day school, the meltdowns may be even worse because it is such a big adjustment for the child. “Your child is tired. They’ve spent the entire day meeting expectations, and when they come home, they are emotionally ‘collapsing.’”

She offers the following tips to help handle after-school restraint collapse:

Make sure they are fed. If your child is hungry, they are more likely to throw a tantrum or be in a bad mood. Pick them up with a healthy snack and water to help them refuel and lessen the likelihood of outbursts.

Slow down. The end of the work and school day can be a very busy time for parents – rushing off to activities, preparing dinner and running errands. Try to slow down as much as possible and avoid rapid-fire questions about the school day. Give your child some time to decompress. Some children may benefit from physical activity directly after school, which is why walking home from school is a great option if possible.

Spend intentional time together. Before your child heads to school and when they come home, give them your undivided attention. Have a conversation, snuggle in bed for a few extra minutes or eat breakfast together. That quality time will help them feel more attached to you and make the time apart easier for them.

Dr. Chorvat says after-school restraint collapse is common but does get better as children grow.

“Do not take your child’s behavior personally. Instead, try to take comfort in the fact that you are their safe place.”

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