Have you heard of the ‘Let Them Theory’?
The words and actions of others can be extremely disruptive to your inner peace and take a toll on your mental health. But a concept called the ‘Let Them Theory’ can reframe your mindset, helping to protect your well-being no matter what someone else chooses to do or say.
“The ‘Let Them Theory’ is an excellent concept introduced by Mel Robbins,” explains Dr. Alexandria Holliday, an adolescent medicine physician at Advocate Children’s Hospital. “I think of it as a self-soothing coping skill that is incredibly useful for both parents and children alike. I like to implement this within my practice when I see children or teenagers with anxiety and depression.”
Dr. Holliday says you may become caught up on another person’s actions, words or feelings, but that it’s important to take a step back and realize it has nothing to do with you.
“This theory is a form of detachment you can use when you find yourself consumed by what others think, do or say. Let them. Let them do this. Let them feel that. It has nothing to do with you,” she urges.
By intentionally thinking this way, you can regain control of your thoughts and create peace of mind. Dr. Holliday says the ‘Let Them Theory’ can be incredibly rewarding – even life changing.
She suggests helping your child or teen understand the theory by regularly reinforcing that they can’t control the actions of others. Instead, discuss appropriate, healthy ways to respond.
“The next time you feel bogged down by what someone else does, let them. Let them be them, and you be you,” she says.
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About the Author
Holly Brenza, health enews contributor, is a public affairs coordinator on the content team at Advocate Health Care and Aurora Health Care. She is a graduate of the University of Illinois at Chicago.
